Why Your Horse’s Friendships MAtter

We focus a lot on what we do in our training sessions, but the physical and mental health of our horses should always involve looking at the whole of their lived experience. Often, we forget what a small fraction of time our training really accounts for in our horses’ daily lives. Over the last 10 years, I’ve become increasingly aware of all the variables that impact horses the other 23 hours of the day, when they are not being trained.

One variable of this lived experience is horse friendships.  Throughout our career, Terral & I have noticed how changes in our horses’ social life can cause huge changes in our horses’ mental welfare. Because we run a training barn where horses come and go, fulfilling our horses’ social needs can be particularly challenging. It’s never as simple as throwing horses out together, because some horses form bonds and others don’t. But when a group or pair of horses becomes friends, the benefits can be very significant.

Vaskur, our stallion, and my liberty team, Cookie and Tholinn, have a very interesting bond. Cookie, my miniature horse, is a classic case of little man syndrome. When we first got him, he was extremely difficult to turn out with other horses, because, overtime, most horses find Cookie so irritating that they want to murder him. There have been several occasions when Cookie had pushed another horse to their limit of patience, and we have had to save him from their wrath. Vaskur, although a stallion, has always been easy to turn out with other horses, but he has had issues with depression and becoming very shut down and explosive. Tholinn was a bottle baby and can have issues with emotional regulation. Years ago, we threw together this merry band of misfits and their friendship has lasted ever since. Tholinn and Cookie help with Vaskur’s depression. They help Vaskur feel macho by occasionally challenging him, but overall allowing him to be the big boss guy. Vaskur is fearless, so he also gives Tholinn and Cookie confidence whenever they are insecure. Tholinn and Vaskur put Cookie in his place when he is being nasty but have never actually hurt him. Cookie is now losing his eyesight, so he uses his buddies - especially Tholinn - to help him navigate. These three have been together for years now, and I really don’t know how they would survive without each other.

A great, recent example is Liesl Kolbe’s new import, Stinni.  Stinni was struggling to adjust to his new environment here in Kentucky- from the trees to the birds, he wasn’t keen on all the new surroundings and found it quite scary at times. Stinni is a former stallion, so we were cautious introducing him to other horses. A couple of the groupings we tried didn’t work, but then he found Ástarljos. Ástarljos had been in several other groups, all of which she had been grumpy about. Stinni was a whole different story. They pretty instantly fell in love. They stand together in the paddock, groom each other, and nicker to greet each other after any separation. After this bond was formed, it was as if Stinni had a whole new level of confidence about the world and his life. He began to confidently go on trails following Astarljos and showed increased relaxation overall in his training sessions.

I have also seen some pretty miraculous examples of horses recognizing old friends and family in significant ways. For example, recently, our old brood mare Svarta Nott (currently owned by Kentigern Octavo) got to reunite with her daughter, Svarta Lopp, at our fall show. Upon touching noses, Svarta Nott started nickering and making all sorts of mothering sounds to her daughter, clearly remembering her and excited to see her again.

The most interesting aspect of these horse relationships is that, in all of the above cases, I rarely observe any herd sourness. I’ve come to believe that herd sourness means the horse is emotionally unstable and unregulated. This can be expressed as screaming in desperation for other horses, but it may actually mean that their emotional needs are not being met, as opposed to a particular attachment.

We hear over and over that horses are herd animals, but I think we should cultivate a deeper understanding for the fact that horses form different types of relationships between individuals.  These friendships are key to our horses’ emotional welfare.  Gaining a friend can improve a horses life significantly, and of course losing a friend can be destabilizing. Due to each horses’ individual personality, we may not always be able to find friends, and due to the nature of life, we may not always be able to honor friendships and keep friends together. That said, recognizing the importance of these relationships cannot be underestimated.